THE DIARY OF A BOY THAT LACKS SELF DISCIPLINE.
“Some days are like that,” this I would always say every time I failed to meet up with my schedules of each day. I have always hoped to make it up tomorrow.
I think today is no different as those days.
I woke up, said my prayers, brushed my teeth, prepared my meals and later descended on the food voraciously. Today is one of those days I would love to immerse myself into the world of reading. I seriously wanted to make up for the lost days that I had put away from reading.
Unfortunately, I tottered outside, as someone who have had too much of alcohol to drink. I met some of my guys outside discussing. As expected, I swiftly engaged myself in the discussion. Each time the thought to wean myself off the discussion flashed my mind, I covered it up with the phrase, “there is still time, we will soon rap it”. What seemed to be ending soon has spanned over an ample of four hours. The day has gone more than half, probably around 1pm.
Later inside my room, I reached for my laptop and my phone, puts them on the table. I had wanted to read from my laptop. I sometimes prefer soft copies to hard copies. And today was one of those times I would want to read from my laptop. I powered my laptop, off course after I had opened it. I grabbed my phone, slides into it. With few punches, the menu page showed on display. My finger hovered over the facebook application, and finally taps on it. “I need to check my notifications jorr” I thought. From checking of notifications, I set out to replying to all feeds, from there, checked into people’s posts, made some needful comments. Some messages popped into my messenger, and it stole my attention again, the chatting lingered for a while.
This time, my laptop had gone to sleep after some hours it had booted, waiting for the dude who wanted to make good use of it.
Now, I felt I needed to take a cold shower as the weather was sweltering. And so I rushed into the bathroom and was done after some minutes, came out, moisturized myself and put on perfume to smell good.
It’s now 5pm, back to my reading position. I sat erect; seriousness ran through my face, tapped on the mouse pad of my laptop and the applications were displayed. My eyes ran through the screen, searched for Adobe reader. I dragged the pointer all over the screen and finally the pointer had stopped, pointed on PES 2015, thoughts ran through my unsettling mind. I got up from my seat, strode towards my wall cupboard, rummaged through it for my game pad.
I emerged with the game pad, plugged it into its port, tapped on the application and sailed into the world of game instead of the world of books. Some hours of playing with the computer, our brother NEPA, ceased their commodity, and my television version of laptop, fizzled away with this precious commodity. Poor me, who truly woke up with the sole purpose to make up for the lost time of reading, ended up
messing up today again.
“Well tomorrow still dey, I will not fuck up tomorrow,”
My friend let me tell you the simple truth, if tomorrow presents itself as today, you will still fuck up or even worst, fuck down. You really need to work on yourself. Just know today that you simply lack self-discipline.
Your will not fuck up or fuck down tomorrow, only if you master the principles of “Pain and Pleasure”
This principle dictates that, we should fix our gaze on the long term outcome of our actions, and try to subdue the short term outcome of our actions. Let me explain it to you better.
That discussion you engaged to, you did so to satisfy yoursef, to derive the pleasure of discussing with friends, which only lasted for that moment, but it stand to cause you a lot of damage in the future.
That soccer you played against computer gave you a short term pleasure but has denied you of some knowledge which might come to your rescue tomorrow.
That study you could have engaged yourself with, though could be a source of pain for that moment, but will bring an enormous bountiful harvest in the nearest future.
Master this principle and be free from fucking up or fucking down tomorrow and stop deceiving yourself with this phrase, “Well tomorrow still dey, I will not fuck it up”
Thank you very much for your time.
Chukwuebuka Harrison ©